Sorry that my updates are becoming less and less frequent. Band is going awesome, school is fine, life is good.

My buddy Mike showed me the world's greatest website. http://www.4q.cc/vin/ The Random Vin Diesel Fact Generator. None of them, are real, and I've dopisited a few of my own, but all the facts are stupid but priceless.

Here are some of the best
-Vin Diesel is Latin for "Vin Diesel is God".
-Vin Diesel speaks in THX certified sound
-Vin diesel can view any film in 3D without the aid of those coloured glasses
-Vin Diesel has racked up over nine billion Flawless Victories in Mortal Kombat. Not as a character, he went into the game itself.
-The game of Pac-man is based on Vin Diesels dinner exploits..........except the part about ghosts......Vin Diesels needs no power pill to eat a ghost.
-Vin Diesel once destroyed an imperial starcruiser by spitting in its direction.
-He often walks into children's hospitals dressed as a doctor and tells kids they're going to die. Then he yells "Just kiddin'!" and jumps out the window.
-Vin Diesel ripped out of all Charlie Brown's hair but left a single strand to remind him one day he'd come back to eat him.
-When Vin Diesel was four years old, a homeless man approached him and asked him for some spare change. Vin was so outraged at the homeless man's audacity, that he went back in time and beat the homeless man's ancestors to death in reverse sequence until he got back to Adam and Eve, where he took on the form of a serpent and tempted Eve to eat the forbidden fruit.
-Vin Diesel taught Ric Flair the Figure Four Leg-lock.
-Every time Vin Diesel masturbates, god creates a kitten.
-Vin Diesel does not need to insert (2) coins to continue.
-Vin Diesel is the only one standing between us and the annihilation squads of Outworld.
-Vin Diesel once attempted to shave Michael Moore's neckbeard, but failed upon realizing that the hairs were actually tiny Malaysian children.
-Vin Diesel understands 42
-If Vin Diesel was a D&D character his statistics would be so high that they would be partially fused with infinity
-One day, Vin Diesel will stumble onto this webpage and read every single entry. Upon completion, the universe will cease to exist.
-Vin Diesel actually has hair, but it's beauty is too great for mortal men to behold. As such, he appears bald to all but the purest of heart.
-Vin Diesel was the original teacher of Socrates, who then taught Plato, who then taught Aristotle, who then taught Alexander the Great, who then penisslapped Colin Ferrel.
-Vin once seduced the Statue of Liberty, but her career got in the way of a lasting relationship.
-Vin Diesel framed OJ and Roger Rabbit.
-Despite being hairless, biologists believe Vin Diesel to be a mammal.
-Vin Diesel had sex with a cardboard box on a bet. The box got pregnant and later had a child. That child was Kevin Eubanks
-Vin Diesel began his acting career as the malevolent mechanical shark in Spielberg's Jaws.
-When Vin Diesel wishes to mail a letter, he forces it down the throat of the nearest housepet, then hurls the animal in the direction of the recipient's house.
-Vin Diesel enjoys kicking pigeons in the park. When questioned, he replies that he "just does it for shits and giggles."
-Vin Diesel conceded the first U.S. presidentioal election to George Washington.
-Vin Diesel shot the sheriff, but he did not shoot the deputy; he ate him alive instead.

And since this site kicks copious amounts of ass
It deserves the
TOP 5 RANDOM VIN DIESEL FACTS THAT AREN'T TRUE BUT ARE FUNNY NONE THE LESS!
#5 Vin Diesel taught Ken Jennings everything he knows, then banged his wife.
#4 Vin Diesel is the only man to have safely fallen from 20,000 feet without a parachute - the Hand of God appeared to catch him before he hit the ground, afterwards God appologised for leaving it so late, but Vin forgave him anyway.
#3 Paradoxically, half of Vin Diesel equals one Vin Diesel. This means that one quarter Vin Diesel also equals one Vin Diesel, and on and on forever. The Vin Diesel that we perceive is the sum total of an infinite amount of Vin Diesels and his powers reflect this.
#2 Vin Diesel created Canada out of confusion between Europeans and Americans.
#1 Vin Diesel can read braille with his scrotum

Pip Pip Chereo
Jolly good show Gov'na

Dave-Spanky

Song of the Week - The Gentlemen by Mad Caddies
Random Object of the Week - Tromboner
Word of the week - Biznatch
Idol of the Week - My Sister

OMG!

We had our first band practice yesterday. It was uber fun. We tried to play Ironman in ska form, it needs major work. We had 4 of us there yesterday (me, Mike, Dave, Sean) and tonight we are doing it again with bass (Adam) and we found a vocalist with like 10 years of guitar experience (Cam Shaw). So everything seems to be coming together.

 

I want to be the next pope but I don’t think it’s in the cards.

 

The Top 5 Things Stopping Me

From Becoming the Next Pope

 

5- My little habit of referring to the Eucharist as "nizzachos and pimp juice from the Notorious G.O.D."

4- I can't make the sign of the cross without grabbing my genitals and moon walking.

3- I would point out fundamental flaws in Christianity and sent the whole world spiraling into chaos, while meanwhile attacking the U.S. with my army of skanking penguins.

2- Irritable bowel syndrome and a $20,000 white robe are not exactly a match made in heaven.

And the Number 1 Thing Stopping Me from Becoming the Next Pope...

1- Because driving the popemobile would mean having to give up my pussymobile!

I may do another update tomorrow if I have something to say, though I never have anything to say anyways...
Meh, thats all for now Biznatch

Peace and Ska
Dave- Spanky

BEST JOKE EVER!!!!

What's the difference between a Big Mac and a blowjob????

WOW, the concert last night was uber crazy. The events leading up to it were very amusing so I'll list them off.
-we could not get a ride from anybody
-Mike got a ride from his dad at about 7 (which is right when the show started) so he picked up Kyle and I quickly and we flew there
-When we got there the bouncer told us it was sold out! Mike and I almost cried.
-We asked if someone could go and get us some merchandise ( a shirt and cd) and they sent someone in for us.
-Kyle was hungry so he left for pizza.
-Literally right after Kyle left, the main bouncer guy came back and pointed at like five of us and said “you can go in”.
- Our initial reaction was “oh god what about Kyle!”
- We figured he would be a while so we ran in to get some merchandise
- After like 10 minutes they let Kyle in and we had only missed the 1st out of 4 bands (we hadn’t even heard of the first two
-When the second band started (Finklestein shit kids - coolest name ever!) I was in awe! Almost every person in the room started skanking (weird, easy dance only doable to ska) I couldn’t sit on the sidelines, I kinda knew how to do it so I jumped into the mob and skanked my heart out.
-Finklestein kicked copious amounts of ass
-Then “The Rude Dudes” came on. OH MY GOD! It was all so happy, upbeat and skankable!
-The main rude dude singer during one of the songs turned the mike around so that Mike (the skanking god) could jump up and sing a line!
-By the time “the Delegates” came on I was skanked out, which is a good thing because the music wasn’t very dance able. It was a lot harder than the two previous bands so we just sat and chillaxed to crazy good music.

Well That was my night, now for some random stuff
I really liked my top 15 last time, so here’s another

The Top 15 Lines You'll Never Hear in a Western
15-"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against participating in that showdown in the middle of town. The liability issues are staggering."
14-"Well me, the construction worker, and my sailor buddy are here to tell y'all, it's *fun* to go to the YMCA!"
13-"Take it from me, Festus, a good pair o' nylons keeps the chaps from riding up."
12-"Barkeep! Three more Slippery Nipples for my posse."
11-"Miss Kitty, I don't think I've ever seen stirrups used quite like that before."
10-"In this town we got a way to deal with murderin' scum like you, Bart -- civil litigation!"
9-"Whose turn is it to change the potpourri in the bunkhouse?"
8-"Well, men, the Apaches have burned down our fort and stolen our women... but considering what we've done to THEM, I think they're showing remarkable self-restraint."
7-"You had me at 'Howdy.'"
6-“HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!!! ... Okay, now a little to the left... Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!”
5- "I'm tellin' ya, I ain't shot no varmints since them PETA fellers set me straight."
4-"I can't go in the saloon! Brown Bart's wearin' the same shirt I'm a-wearin'!"
3-"Three to five day waiting period? But I got a duel at sundown!"
2-"That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"
1- “Nah... I reckon this town’s big enough for the two of us.”

Ok, thats good enough for now.

Peace not Pieces
Dave-Spanky

I had an update done on monday but I kicked the power bar and lost it. I'll recall what I can from it.

April fools last Friday is a good place to start. We pulled some great pranks. We filled 2 teachers desks to the brim full of newspaper, stole all their chalk and ducttaped their seats. Then my buddy Mike and I printed off 200 coupons for 3 free cookies in the caffeteria. Its amazing how many ppl fell for it. We were spreading them all over the school during MSIP (study hall for you no K-towners) and i would go up to ppl with some cookies i had bought beforehand and say "Dude, My msip teacher gave me a coupon for 3 cookies *take a bite*, here I have an extra one. You can have it." So many people came up to me afterwards and I made fun of them for believing me.

Last weekend... Watched a movie with Rory, did homework, laughed at old people.

Song of the week - Something Wrong by The Delegates (OMG they are in K-town in may!!! OMG!!!)
Random object of the week = chapstick
Idol of the week = Bruce Willis
Word of the week = Uber (funny way of saying super)

Lets start off with a top 5 this time. Why? Because I can.
The top 5 interesting celebrity anagrams (rearange the letters in the name to form a word)
#5 Michael Moore = Hear me: I'm loco!
#4 Luciano Pavarotti = I toot up a carnival
#3 Calista Flockhart = sorta flat L.A. chick
#2 Oprah Winfrey = why I fear porn
#1 Pamela Anderson = a lad, a porn, semen

Song of the week= What I Always Do-The Super Pineapples
Random object of the week= box of wheat thins
Idol of the week= Jim Carrey
Feeling of the week= lonely

It figures, we get time off, and I get sick. So my plans this week consist of sleeping, eating, and more sleeping. I'm getting tickets to see Reel Big Fish in Montreal next month. I'm so totally stoked. I brought my tromboner home with me so I can learn me some ska too. I'm in a ska band now. We haven't done anything yet, and Mike and I have been trying to think of funny names.

Heres a top 5 of Ska band names that I want. (some of them I still need to pimp out to Mike)

From this

To this